Unshapely

Up until a few days ago I knew very little about bunions, other than that they are ugly, painful, red bumpy things on the sides of feet and accompany skew toes; they rhyme with onions; and old ladies are prone to them and consequently wear unfashionable health shoes.  But a few days ago I started suspecting I have one, so googled them and found there isn't much more to know.  They in fact are ugly, painful, red bumpy things on the sides of feet that accompany skew toes.  Actually what happens is that the big toe starts growing towards the second toe, often as a result of wearing high heeled shoes with pointy toes, causing extra bone and sometimes a fluid-filled sac to develop at the base of the big toe.  So I went to the doctor today, actually to see about getting some more scars arranged around my neck, but also happened to mention that I thought I might be getting the b-word thing.  He said yes, I am.  Very nonchalantly.  I tried to pull off the cavalier effect but actually I am about two parts embarrassed and three parts devastated.  I'm far too young to be an old lady.  It comes down to pride and vanity though - I still have the use of both feet so should be rejoicing - it's all about perspective!