The Meaning of Life

Had a fairly good day today – yesterday I was feeling rather low, and wondering about my particular purpose in life at present. It seems I am plodding on from day to day and sometimes wonder what should motivate me to get up in the mornings. Of course the answer is that I am now a full-time mom and have the lovely privilege of sowing into the boys’ lives and discipling them, but what does that mean when you get down to the nitty gritty of things? It’s a horrible thought that I am just filling up their days with activities until they are old enough to move onto another phase in life (eg for Caleb, reading, which would then mean more independence) etc. I guess maybe that’s what a lot of moms with young kids feel. Perhaps it’s still an adjustment from having always worked, where there was always a definite objective to one’s day, so now I need to shift my thinking and slow down. Yesterday I drove (yes, drove) the boys to Longwood. That meant driving up Side Path, the road on the other side of the mountain out of Jamestown (last time I tacked Ladder Hill Road), and then finding the way all the way to the playground and shop at Longwood. Actually it was just one road all the way with one turnoff, but you will know all about driving here from previous postings. I was quite proud of myself for having made it there and back with no incidents. Today we went to Toddler’s group in the afternoon at 13h30. I don’t really enjoy it much, but it is a good springboard for making friends. Caleb just plays with toys and doesn’t really bother much interacting with other kids (which is really the point of our going, so the boys can see faces other than each other’s!) and Aaron sort of wanders around, doing I’m not sure what. I have arranged with Emma to bring her girls around tomorrow afternoon again. She seemed very pleased at the invitation, which I’m glad about. She is also a newie to the island, having been here a week less than us, so she probably needs friends as much as I do. Her girls, Bethany and Niamh (pronounced Neve) are aged 5 and 3.

Last night’s bible study was fabulous. Nick is doing the spiritual disciplines in the weekly studies, and last night’s was on prayer. After the preachy part, we usually open it up for a time of sharing and prayer, but people are very quiet to share and pray, so this time Nick did something different, by making each person share a prayer need, and then having each person pray for the person on their left. It was great, not only to hear people sharing about something or other, even if something simple, but to have everyone pray as well. I think a couple of the ladies felt very uncomfortable, but that is fine. Church should be a place where people also come for fellowship, which means more than superficial exchanges! I managed to crumble into an emotional disaster when it came to my turn, where I just asked for prayer for patience with the boys and that I am still settling in and finding my feet and I have good days and bad days and today (yesterday) was a … choke …bad day…choke, sob…oh dear! It was good though. Another lady also broke down during prayer when she was praying for her own husband. But I think we may have turned a corner. We’ll see what the newly-initiated prayer meeting on Saturday morning brings. I did my first Saint impression for them all (So you’all is comin’ at six o’clock?) They roared with laughter and thought it was very good. I’m still working on it though. I practice on the boys every now and then and Caleb is picking it up too.

Aaron fell down the stairs here about two weeks ago – backwards, down about five steps before he stopped himself. Shame, I was quite shaken up. He was fine though, just a bit bruised. It’s getting quite hot now in Jamestown but still cooler in the country.

Nick has been clearing out some more stuff from his office. He has found some ancient books and documentation – at the moment he is holding in his hand the original deed to the church, dated 1st October 1846. It is yellowish paper with brown handwritten text. There is also a book of church records from 1845. Very interesting.